Not A Pretty Girl

Ani DiFranco is one of my favorite artists-her songs have inspired me since I was lucky enough to hear her at summer camp in 1996 (I went to camp for 10 years as a camper...until I was 17. And it was STILL cool!). My friend Katy Harris had Out of Range and it changed my life in an afternoon. Ever since, she's been right there with me-or I've been right behind her. I'm a lucky girl for that.

My friend Ben, who I've mentioned before wrote this blog post today. Then I heard this song.

So, please read said post first, then read the lyrics.

This might have to do with knowing Ben, as much of him as I've had the fortune to get to know, and that, with him, potential runneth over. He's in a quandry-and seems frustrated with "career" decisions... I think one can do it all, Ben's wondering what to do. He has a point.

And Ani reminds me that to be complacent, as I've been for the last year or so, is not acceptable.

Ben's quandry; Ani's call to action; my complacency.

Oops! This is really about ME! Surprise! That's what you get for reading my diary. (There's no one I'd rather read it :) (Which reminds me of a time in Marbella, Spain a couple years ago. I'd hooked up (in the traveller sense of the word) with an Australian guy, Hayden. He had relatives in Marbella and I needed to escape Donostia (San Sebastian to Spanish; Donostia to the Basque), so we got on the bus. It was lovely. We stayed in the guest house, which happened to be on the roof of this apartment building. His aunt and uncle were messes-but we had a damn good time. I was coming back to the guest house and walked in on Hayden indulging himself in my diary. I was on the first bus out of Marbella (to his perplexed aunt and uncles' surprise. I'd have stayed if Hayden left. I had fun with them!). I don't cut people off often (I think he's the only one that was cut off with intention), but I think I had to cut him off for the blatant display of sheer stupidity.)

Onwards:

WIlling To Fight

The windows of my soul
are made of one way glass
don't bother looking into my eyes
if there's something you want to know,
just ask
I got a dead bolt stroll
where I'm going is clear
I won't wait for you to wonder
I'll just tell you why I'm here

'cause I know the biggest crime
is just to throw up your hands
say
this has nothing to do with me
I just want to live as comfortably as I can
you got to look outside your eyes
you got to think outside your brain
you got to walk outside your life
to where the neighborhood changes

tell me who is your boogieman
that's who I will be
you don't have to like me for who I am
but we'll see what you're made of
by what you make of me
I think that it's absurd
that you think I
am the derelict daughter
I fight fire with words
words are hotter than flames
words are wetter than water

I got friends all over this country
I got friends in other countries too
I got friends I haven't met yet
I got friends I never knew
I got lovers whose eyes
I've only seen at a glance
I got strangers for great grandchildren
I got strangers for ancestors

I was a long time coming
I'll be a long time gone
you've got your whole life to do something
and that's not very long
so why don't you give me a call
when you're willing to fight
for what you think is real
for what you think is right