18 May 2006

Tactile Hallucinations

So, I have a work phone (in our "triming the fat" days these may get taken away. Because we don't need to be contacted at all hours for a lot of things by our coworkers. And I'm going to willingly donate my personal phone minutes? Yessum, I don't think so.

Anyway, that was completely off point. This phone that I currently have is on vibrate alls the time. That's because noise sucks in supposedly peaceful environs. I usually hang it off the back right pocket of my pants. This results in tactile hallucinations, because when I'm not wearing the phone, I hallucinate that my phone is vibrating on my butt.

Sara...Is that good enough? What you got, woman?

You know what Ben? You mentioned censoring yourself in your blog and I'm totally doing it right now. I have so much to write about it's appauling.

I'm gaining weight. Not exciting, but I think I'm running around less at work. Or my birth control is affecting me differently than it was for the last 9 months.

I remember once when I was 16 or 15? my dad took me to our pharmacy. It was unspoken that we were picking up birth control pills. At the counter a lawyer friend of his, someone who it was clear to me that my father respected and liked, walked up and they starting chatting. I'm introduced, we're all chatting away. The pharmacist assistant, maybe?, leaned over the counter and said, "your birth control pills aren't quite ready, would you like to wait?" "How long will it be?" "10 minutes" "(look to dad, look back) we'll wait."

When we went back to the car after that, I said to my dad, I'm really embarassed that the assistant announced that I was on birth control. My dad said, "Edward (and I) is (are) a worldly guy(s) [we did it, too]." It was such a huge relief to know he wasn't judging me or embarssed that his (now I know, crazily) young daughter.

I just hit control z and lost a lot of stuff.

Bullet points:
Making out: how it's hard to date and you're not allowed to booty call while dating said person you're booty calling. Everything seems more serious? Well, with this one it does.
I'm gaining weight and I hate it
Work is sub par
I was at work for almost 17 hours today
I might move, but I'm thinking about it
I'd like to move to Brooklyn
I'd like to win the lottery
I want to play basketball
I am in search of inspiration
I like my small, cozy, ridic expensive room
I wonder what Kate's doing?
Where Michelle is?
How Jean and Jake are planning for the wedding on their boat ;)
How lucky I am to have amazing people in my life, albeit far away
I wonder where Dana, Jim, Tim, Andy, Stacey, Dan, Rich and Brian are all right now. And if they had as much fun as I did. And I wonder how many more loves I'll have. If I had the time, I bet I could fall in love with just about everyone on the planet. People are generally good
Nicole's going to have a baby in July
Little Nicole-Ramiro!
I missed Stephanie's birthday on the 16th and have punished myself longer than it would have taken to make a phone call to the birthday girl
Graca is engaged in Brazil
Elinor is on the spiritual quest that brings wonderment back to me every time we talk/write/communicate.
Brendan's in love?
Fritz is in love with himself, still. Still it's no wonder I love him so much.
Adam Bloom! Arizona I'll never understand. You have to meet Ben (who remembered my birthday) who I went to k-12 with in Minnesota. And come to New York. For G's sake.
Cris...I tried to get in touch with you when I was in the BA
Amber, I missed you!
Cleave, dude.
Stacey, great to see you working at a place that you love
I couldn't understand Tammy's message
My grandfather was really sweet about dying

When I was in Cali last weekend I saw my grandfather and grandmother. They're both sick and fraile. My grandfather is dying of cancer. Fact is, we all go through this. But my grandpa, Joe, is slowly but surely coming to final beliefs. There is a point where you stop questioning. He told me that if he could figure out how to, he'd tell me what it was like in heaven. This is one of the most exciting things I've ever heard. And the thing is, I believe he will. If he can, he will absolutely tell me what's going on up there. Who's playing poker and who's drinking Jack? It was cathartic. I am going to miss him dearly when he dies.

Now sit with that: you, the writer of this crap and any other person you lay eyes on, ever, will die. We die. This can be incredibly motivating.

I'm going to leave this up til tomorrow morning. If it's awful I'll delete it when I wake up tomorrow morning.

Sleeper McSleeperson, da sooz


At 1:49 AM, Blogger Sara said...

works for me, sister!

At 9:53 AM, Blogger cole said...

what a spendid entry! feels so good to purge.

At 9:54 AM, Blogger cole said...

that's "splendid". it's early in the AM here.

At 11:38 AM, Blogger Peggy W said...

I'm so glad I got to read this post before you decided whether or not to delete it. If I'd heard the Burch's story, I didn't remember it. I'm glad to know it. Your dad is really...something? great? cool? loving? accepting? I don't know the right word. so many fit. He is a dear and I am so glad we four managed to get together! You know: D to B--I liked them and still do like them--every one. Wish you were here at the lake with me now. What a wonderful bunch you run around with! Aren't you lucky to have jewels tucked away in so many places? Your reflections on your g'pa moved me to tears. And, oh! how I love you!

At 3:53 PM, Blogger ames said...

Dude, is right.

At 12:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Christian, iwspo.net


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